Godzilla: A modern, not at all odd reimagining
by Doctor Buttman
Summary: GODZILLA is one day PATROLLING the WORLD.    When he meets an FAIRY and is transported back to the 1940s.    KING KONG is also there.    ROMANCE and TRAGEDY ensue.    Rated K for KING KONG.


The year is 2001, and the day is Thursday. Godzilla is wearing a T-Shirt. It reads 'I love Manitees'. Suddenly to Godzilla's surprise an fairy appears and punches him in the jaw.

"BITCH." quipped the fairy. "I BE REP'EZENTIN' THE COUNCIL OF MAGICAL CREATURES. THEY BE TOTALLY FUGGEN PISSED AHF AT YEU FER MAKEEN US LOOK BAD."

The fairy was far from quaint, despite being only a few inches in height. The fairy had a jawline that was grizzled and masculine, and it's girth was wide as it was tall.

The fairy cracked it's neck, and spun it's head an entire 360 degrees, bearing an expression of great pain and anguish. "I AM GUN HAFTA SEND YEU 100 YERS IN DA PAST! TO 1940!"

Godzilla stared at the fairy, and squinted. "ONLY IF YO GIVE ME 3 WISHES." He screeched.

"BITCH, FINE." retorted the fairy.

"FIRSTLY, I WOULD LIKE A MILLION BICYCLES, INSIDE MY CRYSTAL MANSION." Roared the mighty beast.

"THAT'S TEU WEESHES YE DAWG DANG VARMINT." The fairly roared back at an equally loud pitch as the monster.

"IT'S A TWO PARTER."

"I ALSO WANNA BE A HANDSUM SCHOOL BOY WITH LASER EYES, PLZ" pleaded the great dinosaur.

"WAT. BITCH WAT U TALKIN' BOUT? WHY YEU WANT DAT?" the Fairy questioned.

"DO EEEEEEEET." Godzilla wailed at the top of lung.

"THEEN WATS YER THARD WISH?" The ape-like fairy considered.

"THAT I HAVE A EGG SANDWISH."

"BITCH." And it was so.

The fairy stared at it's watch. "IT'S FUGGEN TIME, BITCH"

Suddenly the screen goes black, and the audience is transported on a journey through the slums of 21 BC Jerusalem.

Then, Godzilla awakes, the voice of the fairy echoing through his massive dinosaur shaped cranium. "BITCH. BITCH. BITCH."

Satisfied with his wishes, he stared at New York city once again, just 200 years in the past or whatever.

"NWAAAARRRGHHH"

"Gracious!" Throught the sizeosaurus. "Whatever could that have been?" He pondered in his now far more dignified brain. (Cause he's in the past)

Suddenly, pelting towards him at the speed of a massive pelting Ape who is really angry, came an unknown assailant, only identifiable by the fact that he was pelting!

"Deary Me." Godzilla stroked his chin along with the comment.

"GLARBUIRHHHHHHH" screamed the mammal.

"Well, Glarbuirhhhhh to you, too, good sir!" greeted the now monocled beast.

"OOOORAGH"

"Me fancy good sir, you appear to have a young woman in your grasp; I do request that you cease this tomfoolery this instant." Godzilla said, moustache rustling.

"BRUGHAGH?"

The hairy mammal put the woman in his mouth for safe-kepping, glared at Godzilla and aimed his fist directly into the stomach of the tuxedo dressed dinosaur.

"Old chap, don't you think this is a little irrational?" asked Godzilla, straightening his bowtie, in recovery from the punch.

"NUGEAUHIUGHEIUGH"

"Right, that is indeed the final straw!"

Cane ready, pennyfarthing aside, he struck.

A might cane whip to the sizeable simian's face send the woman hurtling towards the ground and falling to her death, at which point, the Ape flew into a rage.

"BLORAUROUGH"

The ape shoved our mighty hero bottom first onto a telephone pole.

"GOLLY!"

Unsure of what his next line is, Godzilla simply repeats the last one, before realising that the telephone pole is electricuting his inner rectum.

"Oh, goodness!" he cries out, mostly in pain.

The destructive Ape rips the telephone pole of the ground, Godzilla still encapsulating it inside of his rear, and shoves his fist into the same area.

"By the beards of England!" hooted Godzilla.

"AROOOOOOOGA" the ape remorsed.

"THIS CALLS FOR RETALIATION BY JOVE." Godzilla thrust his huge tail into the stomach of the ape, causing vomit to coat the housing district below.

Flailing his arm around with Godzilla on the end, he manages to throw him off, freeing his fist from the anus of his monstrous, yet civilised foe.

"TCHALLY HO!" Godzilla screamed, discharging anal excretion over everything in his wake.

At this point, reality stepped in. They both could no longer deny the state of arousal they were in, as Godzilla's very own empire state building protruded masterfully from the cloth of his fine trousers. And equally, King Kongs slightly less elegant but much, much larger member thrust upward into the sky like a fire hose. He was pissing.

The urine was dark yellow, and smelt rancid. Godzilla felt himself falling into a more primal state, lapping up the piss.

"Golly, this IS good." he said.

"GRaHGRUAHGU" agreed Hong Kong.

Godzilla began his own stream of piss, because he had drunk a lot, and the punch to the stomach had loosened his bowells.

King Wang allowed his giant monkey cock to rest on godzilla's forwhead as he lovingly lapped up the piss like a loyal pet.

"BLARURAGGHHTRANGSFSGAH."

Pedestrians stared up at the giants, dodging piss from all angles. Godzilla's sensibilities kicked in. It was indeed rude to watch two partners fornicate, no matter how amazingly sexy it was.

He aimed his stream of piss at the pedestrians, clearing them into the gutters where they belonged.

All this rancid piss was making his stomach acids bubble, and he promptly threw up into King Dong's mouth.

"BBRBRBRURUURBRUBRBRLAH."

Immediately, Wang Kong let out first a massive spurt of ejacualte, followed by many more spasmic sperm spouts.

"Golly Gosh!" choked Godzilla, spluttering Kong Bong's semen in all directions.

"GUBHGRLUGRHGHEUHAUDHWFUFUFUF" laughed the Ape, grasping at our stalwart hero's testicles.

"MMMMPHMMPHHPPMH" King Schlong mumbled, chewing on Godzilla's manballs like a succulent hamburger.

"Ooooh myyy." ~ 3 Godzilla squealed gayly. He promply unleashed his gooey mass all over the Kongmeister's head and back which were now BOTH silver.

Ding Dong's Kongboner, now bigger and riper than ever, exploded with blood, and sick and shit and ejaculate, culminating in a strangely coloured fluid flowing down the streets of the city.

Daddy Kong was colour blind, and the only colour he could distinguish was infact silver. Finally seeing this one colour had been so overwhelming, he had ejected everything his body had left out of his manhammer.

Now just a wrinkly pile of skin and some bones in it, all that was left to do was what was custom for a tyrannosaur like godziller to do: eat his skin. remorsefully, he slunk over and remorsefully began to choke down his best friend'd body. It was like a scrotum.

As he faded into nothingness, The Kongchord whispered something into Godzilla's ear. Suddenly it all made sense, through the gibberish he had deciphered the code.

Godzilla rose to his feet, slurping up the remaining few bits and pieces in, like spaghetti. His Tuxedo seeped in piss and shit and other bodily fluids, he cracked his knuckles, and ascended onto his pennyfarthing.

He rode upwards into the sky just a rocket that runs on magic, he boldly exited the atmosphere of earth still dripping massive amount of cum and puke. His destination:

Voldemort's brain.

In the deep canyons of Pluto he found a small shack, where he grew up as a child. He solemly dismounted from his penny farthing and knocked on the door.

"WHO IT BE RAPPING AT MY ENTRANCE?" snarled a voice from with in.

"IT IS I, GALACTICOS." Upon this tremendous utterance, the doors flung open.

"THE FUG YOU BEEN YOU STUPID MOTHER FUGGER? WHY YOU DRENCHED IN SEMEN? IS THAT RANCID PISS? WHY ARE YOU WEARING A TUXEDO? DID YOU STEAL THAT PENNYFARTHING? GO THE SHOP AND BUY ME SOME MILK. I LIKE MILK. BUY LOTS AND LOTS OF MILK. IT'S WE'RE 700 IN THE PAST, DO YOU EVEN EXIST?"

All these questions brought about a revelation in our muscular and tall hero.

SMACK. Voldemort's brains scattered across the walls with a mighty swoop of his tail. And who else should appear from the chunks other than the fairy from earlier.

"WELL TAAAAARNATION BOIEH, YOU DUN FOUND MAH HOUSE."

"ENOUGH FUCKING SHIT YOU DUMB CUNT. GIVE ME THE SECRET FORMULA." He demanded.

"GAWWWWWWWWWWWWWD, WHY YEU THINK I GUNNA GIVE THAT SHIT TO SUM BIG ASS DINOSUD?"

"THE FUCKING BALANCE OF SPACE, AND TIME, AND EVERYTHING ELSE THAT EXISTS, HANGS ON THE BRING OF EXCTINCTION."

"HOW YOU DUN KNOW THAT?"

"MY SIMIAN FRIEND TOLD ME YOU DUMB PIECE OF SHIT PIE!"

"THIS SECRET FORMULA IS SECRET FOR A REASON."

"YOU ARE A BUTTHOLD."

This realisation stunned the fairy, and gave him a three foot long stiffy.

"NAH LEWK WUT YOU DUN. MAH DANDERS CAUGHT ALL UP IN A JIFFY."

"FUCK YOU I NEED THE FORMULA." Godzilla screamed with the fairy's irresistable cock in his mouth.

"YOU DUN NO WHAT YEU MESSIN' WITH BOIEH" the Fairy screamed, a look of fury on his face.

This expression was interrupted by Godzilla's load, flooding the entire room.

"YOUR POWERS ARE NO USE TO YOU NOW, YOU MIDGET CUNT, AND THE FORUMLAR WILL BE MINE!" Godzilla yelled, putting the fairy onto his own reptillian phallus.

Godzilla Was amazed at how elastic the small fairy was."." It screamed as a mighty flood of orgasm blew the house up.

Suddenly he felt time itself shifting around him.

Millions of light years into the future, he was back in 2001. The fairy a useless wreck, kept in the air only by Godzilla's scaley wang. He tossed the fairy aside, walking forwards to examine the alightments of the stars.

"THIS IS IT. GRAAAAAGH." Godzilla screamed.

He realised that if you rearranged the word Bread, it read Brad. E, which was a pseudonym he had been known as in a parallel universe.

Brad. E then jumped out of the air itself and then furiously raped him.

"AROOOOOOGAH." Brad. E screamed as his simian wang penetrated his quivering anus.

"IT ALL MAKES SENSE!" screamed Godzilla.

He and Kingius Kongius were the same creature, from different parallel universe, the entity they both went by... was Brad. E. In this universe, he had chosen the form of a giant reptile, and in another, a massive ape. In reality, all Brad. E was, was a conventionally civilised Pimp who had met a Fairy, and had his memory wiped.

THU END


End file.
